I really wanted to share this amazing red fit-and-flare coat and my new favorite grey skinny jeans last Monday, but you know…Christmas! That’s ok! I refuse to believe red coats are restricted to Christmas! The fit-and-flare cut is so flattering and it’s been on my radar for a few years now. The hubby got it for me as a birthday gift and it’s been so fun to wear during the holidays.
I really can’t believe that tomorrow it will be 2019. Seriously, where did the last year go? For that matter, where did the last TWO years go? After a very difficult 2017, 2018 was when we finally started to get back up on our feet again. Jeremy adjusted to going back to school and got into a rhythm of working during the day and doing homework in the evenings. We both changed jobs, which contributed to a much better quality of life, and we finally climbed out of the debt incurred from the year I was without a teaching job and our rental units went unoccupied.
The Most Difficult Decision in 2018
The most difficult decision I made in 2018, though I have kept it largely off the blog, is to take a break from teaching. This was an excruciating decision. Teaching, for me, is a calling and a passion. In many ways it is a crucial part of my identity. To give it up was heartbreaking and discouraging. But, looking back, it was the best decision I could have made at this point in our lives.
Teaching really wrung me dry in the last five years. When we moved, I knew it would be hard to start over again but it was nearly impossible. The first year I had one long-term subbing job and then eked out an existence on whatever subbing jobs I could manage to claim before someone else did. During the long-term sub job, I exhausted myself to prepare lessons for a curriculum I hadn’t taught in ten years, only to be met on a daily basis by disrespect from parents and students alike.
Daily subbing wasn’t much better. Every morning, I would show up to a job site not knowing whether I would have to run between multiple buildings with no break for lunch, or whether there would even be any instructions left for me. I may have a class where I would spend the entire period watching them like a hawk and counting down the minutes until I could leave the building. This caused way more anxiety than it was worth.
I was thankful to get a position in 2017 and threw myself into learning and building yet another new curriculum. I spent all my time planning and grading, working late into the night and waking early in the morning. In the end, the district cut that position. So, I had to choose: spend another year (or more) going through the same thing all over again, or look for something else. Ultimately, the choice was made for me. There was only one job posting all summer for a Social Studies teacher in my area. After applying for a few Administrative Assistant jobs, I took a job working for a local Town Manager. I have regular hours, don’t take any work home, and get to see the inner-workings of local government, something I taught about for many years.
Leaving Teaching
I couldn’t imagine leaving the classroom because, in many ways, I understood that choosing to not teach this year means that it will be even harder for me to get a position next year. By not subbing, I give up the contacts I could make in schools that might be able to offer me a position. By not teaching this year, I could be giving up teaching for good and that brings me great grief.
And yet, my health and my family are things that should be prioritized. Teaching has changed and I believe that in the future you will see more and more teachers making the choice that I made and it should bring you grief too. I couldn’t go through one more year like I had been, with no sleep, high stress and anxiety, no time with my husband, and no real assurance that the time and energy I put into building a curriculum would pay off by turning into a full-time position.
Almost every district in this area fires the new teachers every year and hires them back if the budget is there. This is the norm in teaching these days and that’s not even addressing all of the emotional baggage teachers carry when it comes to dealing with students who are themselves, or have families, dealing with addiction. I haven’t even gone into the flawed teacher evaluation systems that add so much work to a teacher’s year or the way disrespect has become the norm. I will say right now – it’s not going to be testing that kills the teaching profession but disrespect.
I’m explaining all this because, basically, I need to fess up. The whole reason I started this blog was to share my teacher style and how to find balance beyond the workplace. Though I still work in a professional environment, and I find my outfits are very much the same as what I wore as a teacher, I feel a little like a fraud sharing my “teacher style” when I’m not currently teaching. And yet, I really have found balance. If I had stayed at my job in Washington, I may have been able to eventually arrive at a place where I could teach and still have balance but I realize that after moving, the only way for me to truly find balance was to find a job other than teaching.
What Real Balance Looks Like
Let me tell you…because of that decision, I have the best kind of balance. I get to come home for lunch. When I get home from work, I have the time (and the energy) to do projects I enjoy, watch TV shows with my husband, go to Bible Study, and join the community choir. I did some of those things when I was teaching but often they came with the trade-off of staying up very late to finish grading or planning. The best thing? My work stays at my office.
And so, as we start 2019, I see so much potential! Jeremy will earn his Bachelors RN this Spring and hopefully go on to a Nurse Practitioner program shortly after. My health is returning and our income is stabilizing, making it possible for us to take trips together and do larger projects on our home. I don’t get Christmas break anymore (sad day) but it’s worth the trade-off because I don’t have wait until Spring break to read a book or start repainting my kitchen.
I still grieve leaving the classroom (in fact, I grieved a lot writing this post), but I am so thankful for the time that I have now to do all the other things that I love. I’m won’t tell you that the decision I made is right for everyone but for anyone who is facing a similar dilemma, know that you are more than what you do. And, know that gaining true balance in your life will make the sacrifice so worth it.
Get the Look:
- Coat, Zulily. (exact seems to be sold out again, I linked similar in the widget)
- Grey Skinny Jeans, H&M. I’m obsessed with these. They go with everything!
- Similar scarf.
- Earrings, H&M. (similar 1, similar 2)
- Black Pumps, TJMaxx (old). Similar in widget.
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Linking up with: Glass of Glam | I do deClaire | Color and Grace | Straight A Style | On the Daily Express | Curly Crafty Mom | Mummabstylish | Lizzie in Lace
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Hi Virginia! I had to come over and read your post when I saw ‘real talk about teaching’! I taught first grade full time for six years, then substitute taught for 1 1/2 years before my husband and I moved overseas for his job. I can totally relate to your struggles with disrespect in the classroom (and with administration and parents!) It’s really gotten bad over recent years and it’s very sad and discouraging. We are moving back to Virginia in a few months and I may go back to substitute teaching but have zero plans at this time to go full-time again. I feel like if you don’t stay late and work weekends, you’re viewed as a teacher who doesn’t do enough, and I don’t miss that feeling! Good luck to you in your new job!!
Meagan
http://www.meagansmoda.com
I really appreciated this comment because after I posted this I felt so guilty, like everyone was just going to judge me! Teacher Guilt is a real thing! It’s why you feel like you’re going to be judged when you don’t stay late and work weekends, but it extends even to how you are able to express those feelings to others. This is a personal blog and yet even here I felt like people were just going to read it and say, “Oh, she just couldn’t hack it” or “If she was a better teacher she wouldn’t be so disrespected.” Teachers shouldn’t feel like they can’t work regular hours and they shouldn’t feel like if they express frustration over these kinds of issues in the classroom that they aren’t a good teacher. I was a good teacher and I may be again, but for the meantime, I’m with you. I don’t miss the feelings of inadequacy one bit. Good luck on your move back to Virginia! If you do go back to substitute teaching, find a great district and definitely stick to the little kids! lol, I feel like they’ve got to be better than the teenagers with respect, right?! Again, thanks for the comment. It relieved a lot of that teacher guilt I had in posting it!
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such a struggle finding a new teaching job. Subbing sounds like it was really awful and you were right to not want to keep stressing yourself out over it. I’m sure you are on your right path and things will work out!
Chic on the Cheap
Thanks Lydia! Lol, you know, I had a student call me a “witch” and berate me in front of the class on my absolute first day of substitute teaching just because I told her she could go to the bathroom after the student who was currently in the bathroom came back. Lol! I should have known right then and there that substitute teaching was just not going to work! But in all seriousness, I’m really happy with where I am right now and that means something!
Oh gosh, I think you definitely made the right decision. You have to think about your family, your health, etc. first… It sounds like you’re in a happier place. I left my corporate job in Marketing about 4 years ago and sometimes I wonder how hard it would be to get back ‘in’, but for now I am happy blogging part-time and taking care of the kids/home. It is plenty to keep my plate full. That red coat is so pretty and I’m wearing my grey denim today, too. 🙂 Happy New Year!
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
Even though I am still teaching I would be lying if I didn’t say that I have thought a lot about changing careers. I couldn’t agree more that teaching and schools have changed. I’m not that old, but I feel like a lot has changed with our education system since I was in school. Even in my 12 years of being a teacher I have seen things change in our district and not for the better. Reading this post helped me to feel like it’s not just me, so thank you and I hope you enjoyed the New Year!
-Katie
http://www.hellokatiegirlblog.com/
I started teaching in 2006, fresh out of college and in over my head with 4 sections of a double AP class, plus one regular US History class. I don’t know if it was just because I was closer to their age or because I worked my tail off, but I earned their respect and their love. That meant something because then the class that came after wanted to be in my class because they heard about it from the previous group. But over the ten years I was in that district, things changed. I had more things to do with fewer instructional days and gradually I started to face more disrespect. I had to have an insane amount of documentation and endless parent emails just to be able to give a student the F they earned in my class. At the end of my time there I found myself looking back over the last ten years, trying to figure out when it changed from the KIDS explaining to their parents what they would do to bring their grade up to ME explaining to the parents and the administration what I did to give kids the chance to bring their grade up. The change was even more drastic in Rhode Island. So, stay strong! Hang in there! I’m rooting for you! And you know what, if you decide that it’s just not worth it anymore, that’s ok too.
Such a stylish coat, I love the colour and the scarf you’ve matched with it. Thanks for sharing on #chicandstylish #linkup Jacqui Mummabstylish
Thank you Jacqui!
Sounds like you have found something that you want to do. I’m sorry you had to leave teaching because it does sound like you really loved it. Thanks for sharing with us!
http://www.mylittlenest.org
I did love teaching but I also really love being able to blog and do projects and watch TV in the evening, lol. Those things matter too and you never know, I may teach again! For now though, I’m really happy to be where I am!
So fab and festive! Loving the red coat and plaid scarf combo. You’re rocking it dear. Looks lovely on you.
Jessica | notjessfashion.com
Thank you for your vulnerability. Like many others here, I felt your words ringing true every step of the way. I too am a teacher at the core and love the job BUT it can come with a price tag. I am fortunate to have a steady job but I still seek to find balance. Though I am ambitious and really wanted to pursue administration, I’ve realized with age and experience, like you, that my family and life need to be a priority. It’s so hard to walk away from things but health, happiness and relationships that are life lasting needing to be our priority. Being a good teacher shouldn’t mean no being a healthy, happy, and energetic person outside of work hours. So I am impressed by you and your husband and all the things you have accomplished in a short time. I am also inspired. May 2019 be your best year, you both deserve it.
bosbodaciousblog.blogspot.ca
Thank you for your comment! It feels like such a defeat to admit that I can’t do it, but what you said really resonated with me. You’re right, “being a good teacher shouldn’t mean no being a healthy, happy and energetic person outside of work hours.” I always marveled at the teachers who managed to do it but I have no idea how they had that kind of energy. I started this blog as a way to find balance and it did help me embrace my other passions. Had I continued in the school and role I started in, perhaps I could have reached the point where I was comfortable enough with what I taught that I could take time for other things. But that’s just the point, right there! In my mind, being a good teacher means constantly learning and adjusting and that never ends! I don’t know if I would ever be “comfortable enough” to relax. And I refuse to believe that to be a good teacher I have to prioritize my students over everything else. I wish you all the luck in continuing to maintain that crazy balance and pray that if you do continue to an administrative role, you are the kind of administrator who realize that healthy teachers are better teachers. We need administrators like you, who understand that struggle! Thanks for sharing and encouraging! You have all helped me in this grieving process, and I’m so thankful for that!
What a lovely red coat, I really like that scarf with it!
How sad you are leaving the career you love, but how good that you’ve found another position you like and enjoy more and that has the benefit of giving you more time back in your day 🙂 It sounds lovely!
Happy New Year! Hope that your 2019 is off to a great start and you’ve been having a great week 🙂
Away From The Blue Blog
Thank you Mica! Thankfully, I am a person with many loves! I just have to keep that in perspective when I start to feel bad about leaving teaching. I love teaching and I love kids but I love my husband more and want to have kids some day! It’s all about perspective. 🙂 Happy new year! I hope 2019 is off to a great start for you!
Always a fan of the jeans and heels look! 🙂
You look amazing in that red coat!! 🙂
YouTube | Blog: Geekette in High Heels | Instagram
Thank you! Isn’t it awesome how heels can totally change the way the jeans look!? I love it!