I really wanted to share this amazing red fit-and-flare coat and my new favorite grey skinny jeans last Monday, but you know…Christmas! That’s ok! I refuse to believe red coats are restricted to Christmas! The fit-and-flare cut is so flattering and it’s been on my radar for a few years now. The hubby got it for me as a birthday gift and it’s been so fun to wear during the holidays.

I really can’t believe that tomorrow it will be 2019. Seriously, where did the last year go? For that matter, where did the last TWO years go? After a very difficult 2017, 2018 was when we finally started to get back up on our feet again. Jeremy adjusted to going back to school and got into a rhythm of working during the day and doing homework in the evenings. We both changed jobs, which contributed to a much better quality of life, and we finally climbed out of the debt incurred from the year I was without a teaching job and our rental units went unoccupied.

The Most Difficult Decision in 2018

The most difficult decision I made in 2018, though I have kept it largely off the blog, is to take a break from teaching. This was an excruciating decision. Teaching, for me, is a calling and a passion. In many ways it is a crucial part of my identity. To give it up was heartbreaking and discouraging. But, looking back, it was the best decision I could have made at this point in our lives.

Teaching really wrung me dry in the last five years. When we moved, I knew it would be hard to start over again but it was nearly impossible. The first year I had one long-term subbing job and then eked out an existence on whatever subbing jobs I could manage to claim before someone else did. During the long-term sub job, I exhausted myself to prepare lessons for a curriculum I hadn’t taught in ten years, only to be met on a daily basis by disrespect from parents and students alike.

Daily subbing wasn’t much better. Every morning, I would show up to a job site not knowing whether I would have to run between multiple buildings with no break for lunch, or whether there would even be any instructions left for me. I may have a class where I would spend the entire period watching them like a hawk and counting down the minutes until I could leave the building. This caused way more anxiety than it was worth.

I was thankful to get a position in 2017 and threw myself into learning and building yet another new curriculum. I spent all my time planning and grading, working late into the night and waking early in the morning. In the end, the district cut that position. So, I had to choose: spend another year (or more) going through the same thing all over again, or look for something else. Ultimately, the choice was made for me. There was only one job posting all summer for a Social Studies teacher in my area. After applying for a few Administrative Assistant jobs, I took a job working for a local Town Manager. I have regular hours, don’t take any work home, and get to see the inner-workings of local government, something I taught about for many years.

Leaving Teaching

I couldn’t imagine leaving the classroom because, in many ways, I understood that choosing to not teach this year means that it will be even harder for me to get a position next year. By not subbing, I give up the contacts I could make in schools that might be able to offer me a position. By not teaching this year, I could be giving up teaching for good and that brings me great grief.

And yet, my health and my family are things that should be prioritized. Teaching has changed and I believe that in the future you will see more and more teachers making the choice that I made and it should bring you grief too. I couldn’t go through one more year like I had been, with no sleep, high stress and anxiety, no time with my husband, and no real assurance that the time and energy I put into building a curriculum would pay off by turning into a full-time position.

Almost every district in this area fires the new teachers every year and hires them back if the budget is there. This is the norm in teaching these days and that’s not even addressing all of the emotional baggage teachers carry when it comes to dealing with students who are themselves, or have families, dealing with addiction. I haven’t even gone into the flawed teacher evaluation systems that add so much work to a teacher’s year or the way disrespect has become the norm. I will say right now – it’s not going to be testing that kills the teaching profession but disrespect.

I’m explaining all this because, basically, I need to fess up. The whole reason I started this blog was to share my teacher style and how to find balance beyond the workplace. Though I still work in a professional environment, and I find my outfits are very much the same as what I wore as a teacher, I feel a little like a fraud sharing my “teacher style” when I’m not currently teaching. And yet, I really have found balance. If I had stayed at my job in Washington, I may have been able to eventually arrive at a place where I could teach and still have balance but I realize that after moving, the only way for me to truly find balance was to find a job other than teaching.

What Real Balance Looks Like

Let me tell you…because of that decision, I have the best kind of balance. I get to come home for lunch. When I get home from work, I have the time (and the energy) to do projects I enjoy, watch TV shows with my husband, go to Bible Study, and join the community choir. I did some of those things when I was teaching but often they came with the trade-off of staying up very late to finish grading or planning. The best thing? My work stays at my office.

And so, as we start 2019, I see so much potential! Jeremy will earn his Bachelors RN this Spring and hopefully go on to a Nurse Practitioner program shortly after. My health is returning and our income is stabilizing, making it possible for us to take trips together and do larger projects on our home. I don’t get Christmas break anymore (sad day) but it’s worth the trade-off because I don’t have wait until Spring break to read a book or start repainting my kitchen.

I still grieve leaving the classroom (in fact, I grieved a lot writing this post), but I am so thankful for the time that I have now to do all the other things that I love. I’m won’t tell you that the decision I made is right for everyone but for anyone who is facing a similar dilemma, know that you are more than what you do. And, know that gaining true balance in your life will make the sacrifice so worth it.

Get the Look:

• Coat, Zulily. (exact seems to be sold out again, I linked similar in the widget)
• Grey Skinny Jeans, H&M. I’m obsessed with these. They go with everything!
• Similar scarf.
• Earrings, H&M. (similar 1, similar 2)
• Black Pumps, TJMaxx (old). Similar in widget.

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Linking up with: Glass of Glam | I do deClaire | Color and Grace | Straight A Style | On the Daily Express | Curly Crafty Mom | Mummabstylish | Lizzie in Lace